It’s no secret that Jasmine is not a good sleeper, I can be up anywhere between 5-20 times in the night with her. A physical and emotional struggle, it’s no wonder sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.
Five months down the line it’s improved very little and more often than not I see every hour. Yes it’s exhausting and frustrating, but even in my lowest moments at 3am, I couldn’t comprehend ‘sleep training’ Jasmine. I know that it works so well for lots of mums and this is just a post of my personal opinion, not judging others.
Sleep training can come by lots of different names, controlled crying or using the ‘cry it out’ method are among a few main ones. So letting them cry until they learn that it’s ‘bed time’ and eventually you win and they loose. But when you have listened to your baby cry themselves to sleep there’s no real winners are there? Normally the crying stops because they are too exhausted to carry on. Or some methods include going back in but not pick the baby up just ‘sssshhh-ing’ her and pat her tummy until she gets the message.
Again if this works for you then I’m not telling you how to parent your child, just my own stance and the truth is I find it quite heartbreaking.
When I decided to have Jasmine I made a commitment to be her mum, not just when it suited me but 24 hours a day (and night). How can I say I’m always here for you….but not between the hours of 7pm – 7am, then you’re on your own. If she needs me anytime I need to be there to give her a cuddle and reassure her, I don’t want her to think I’m ever not there for her needs. Nighttimes can often be the times when babies need comfort the most. She’s just a baby, in other cultures they carry their babies around in their arms all day, sleep with them in their arms at night and would never dream of leaving that baby to cry it out, alone.
We become obsessed as a culture of ‘not making a rod for our own backs’ when really babies just need love. They’ll sleep eventually, I would rather they were content and secure than, so upset from crying without anyone coming that they loose their voice and give in to sleep. Why are we so against answering our babies needs? If babies have a nightmare and need comfort they just want to be held and comforted by mum.
Yes, it’s tough being up through the night. As I type this now it’s 3.54am and I’m walking around rocking Jasmine in my arms for the ninth time tonight. But these nights will pass.
Yes, it’s going to be so tough when she’s in her own room but if she calls me through the night, I’ll be there to give her love and security whether she’s 5 months old or 17 years old. And I won’t feel guilty for cuddling her, or feeding her on demand. And guess what? You can’t spoil a baby.
Don’t get me wrong I’d love her to sleep longer, but I’d never want to see and hear her suffer to get there. I understand it works for some family’s but for me it’s a thanks but no thanks.
‘The course of true love never did run smooth’ – William Shakespeare Act 1 Scene 1 -?A midsummer nights dream